The Most Ridiculous Workout Evaaaa

Let me tell you about my gym.

Once upon a time, there was a wonderful, dearly loved priest, named Monsignor Deblanc.  He had a vision to not only build a strong church community, but to take care of that community in body, mind, and spirit.  He did that, exactly.  The church is beautiful, warm, welcoming, inviting.  Along with that church, is a school bearing the same name.  Monsignor had a big hand in helping this school to grow, and it continues and continues to grow.  But, that was not enough.  Monsignor decided to build a Family Life Center.  This community center has a full basketball court, indoor/elevated track, Olympic-size swimming pool, weight rooms, cardio room, free evening babysitting, several meeting rooms, locker rooms, saunas, Jacuzzis...it's got it all.  Monsignor believed "if you aren't moving forward, you're going backwards".  The whole community supports and uses the Family Life Center regularly and we are all living happily ever after.

This wonderful amenity is so low-cost for a family membership, it is almost free.  For my family, it is free because I teach at the school.  It is also open at 5 and closes at 9.  Seriously, there is NO reason why I should not be there DAILY.  Did I mention the free babysitting in the evenings?  Not to mention, it is so safe that my kids shoot hoops on the court while I exercise next door.  This usually works...usually.

Well, this is how my workout went on this night.  Once we get there tonight, we notice the babysitter is not there. {{oy :/ }}  Well, that's okay, because Zac and Abby can play basketball in the gym.........Oh, there's a big basketball game going on. {{double oy oy :/  }}  Abby and Zac decide to go play on a side court, and Catie will just come and watch me (she can do that at my gym...pretty cool..well, not really). 

ME:  huff, puff, puff, huff
CATIE:  MOM, can you put the TV on the Disney Channel?
(Get off of machine, search diligently, though unsuccessfully for Disney, go to basketball court, ask Zac what channel Disney is, go back to cardio, find channel 24, get back on machine.)
ME:  huff, puff, puff, huff
CATIE:  Mom, can I have a drink of your water?
ME:  No.
CATIE:  PLEASE!!
ME: No.  huff, puff.
(Catie throws giant fit on unplugged treadmill, so the other cardio-goers can watch my embarrassment)
ME:  OK!  Here.  (Start workout again)  Huff, puff
{{{{ring, ring, ring, ring}}}
Interrupted for phone call from Todd who needs to speak to the children one at a time.  Go find Thing 1, Thing 2, and hand the phone to Thing 3.
Ugh!  The treadmill stopped because I wasn't pedaling fast enough.  Start over.  How much time passed the last time???
CATIE:  Mom, do I have bones in my teeth?  Mom, why are you watching baseball?  Mom, can I have some more water?  Mom, you're not wearing a ponytail.  Mom, why aren't you wearing a ponytail?  Mom, this is a kids' show.  Mom, can I go get that chair?   Mom, where is the babysitter?  Mom,  was Pepper in your belly?  Mom, you were in Nana's belly.  Where is Pepper's mom?...................................
...................................................................................................................................................................
.........................................................................Mom????  Mom?  Mooooommmm????
{{These poor people exercising in here must want to throw their water bottle at me.....and my beautiful children :(  }}}}}
ABBY/ZAC:  Mom, Abby called me stupid.  Mom, Zac kicked me.  No, I didn't!  Yes, she did!  Mom, I can't play with that game going on.  Mom, what are you watching?  Mom, can we watch the game with you?  Mom, can we get a chair?  Mom, can I have some of your water?
{{{{{{{{{HUFF, PUFF, PUFF, HUFF}}}}}}}}}}}}}
ME:  Yes, you can get a chair.  No, I cannot turn it on ALL of the TVs.  No, you cannot have my water.  Go to the water fountain.  If you don't behave, I will call Dad to come get you.  No, you can't have...will you just...you have to....kids, share the chair.  Darn the time restarted A-G-A-I-N?  How much time have I been on here?

As the final cardio champ left, I apologized for the noise and fussing and whining and fighting.  He pulled his earphone out, and said, "Oh!  I had my music on.  Didn't hear a thing.  I was actually going to compliment you on how well-behaved they are being."  {{{Oh, thank God!}}}}

Lesson:  There is no room for kids during "ME" time.

~ACZ

Leave a comment!!  Can you relate??